Before we start, a couple of explanatory notes will let you know how and why I picked up this particular skill, and why you might well want to have it too.
- This instructional resides under the category of House/Handy-person skills. Yes, that may seem odd on the surface, but what, really, can possibly be more handy than lightening someone’s load? You’re lifting a weight, removing shag, refurbishing and remodeling. Truly a handy renovative skill.
- I’ve subtitled this post as follows, mostly to make myself laugh, but also because it’s true:
How to keep him proud and hatless when he has high standards, you have no experience, and he’s only letting you do it because you’re in a worldwide pandemic.
In other words, understand that a man doesn’t easily part with his hair.
Now, with those basics out of the way, let’s do this.
Step 1: Ask & Reassure
Questions you’ll want your subject (or customer, or barberee) to consider are:
- Are you sure you want me to? (Ask this in a thoughtful, caring way, leaving out any sense of shock, horror, or incredulity, which tends to undermine the next step of reassurance.)
- What are your goals for the haircut? (Again, in an objective, professional tone, with no suggestion of “why in the world are you letting me do this?”)
- Just a trim, or shortening the hair more substantially?
- The same shape as now, or something different?
- How do you like the top? The sides? The back?
- How do you plan to style (e.g., comb) or not style your hair?
Reassurances you’ll want to give include:
- I will do my best.
- I have studied up on how to cut men’s hair (see Step 2).
- If it doesn’t turn out, at least it’s hat season. (Only if he has a sense of humor; though, honestly, when isn’t it hat season?)
- I will focus on meeting your goals for this haircut. (Don’t diverge into your own aesthetics as you cut, since he probably won’t see eye to eye with you on his personal style (despite his forthcoming ability to see, period). If he wants bangs, voice any opposition and then just give the man bangs. Think of it this way: if your first try comes out a bit “off,” better that it’s at least the style he wanted.
Step 2: Study Up
Seriously, study up. Do not wing this.
Studying is easy in this case, and the entire curriculum can be found on YouTube, at the end of which you can style yourself as “European trained” or “a disciple of [name your favorite celebrity stylist with a channel].”
Here are the stellar walk-throughs that enabled me to help him shirk the chapeau, hide the hat, and bypass the beret*. I have watched them so many times that the relentless Casio tunes are seared into my memory… along with some great tips for a good haircut.
* As well as to ditch the derby, elude the ‘elmet, steer clear of the Stetson, fend off the fedora, reject the rastacap, preclude the porkpie, toss the top hat, and ban the beanie.
Step 3: Take It Slow
With scissors in hand now, slow down.
Remember the steps you’ve learned from your online gurus, such as:
- Comb it out first.
- Give a thoughtful, professional glance.
- Start by cutting a length marker “guide.” In other words, comb the hair up, cut across at the height desired, and then shift your comb perpendicular in order to cut the other direction.
- Use the initial cut length as your guide as you continue to cut.
- Treat the top differently from the sides. Don’t shape Chia-style.
- Err on the side of conservative. You can always cut more later, but there’s nothing to fix bald spots except time.
- Take the time you need. You’re not under a 15-minute supercut deadline. Do it slowly, think it through, do it right.
Step 4: Ask for Feedback
And now for the second-scariest part of all (after the haircut itself): ask for feedback. Genuinely try to find out how your stylist skills can be more awesome next time.
With that, you’ve done it! You’ve defied the odds, you’ve dared the unthinkable, you’ve given a real, no-kidding haircut.
